3/4/2025

 

3/4/2025 7:27

Good morning guys. I need morning coffee and a cup of music to keep me going. There is nothing better than waking up early and having all the time in the world. But I woke up at 6:20 and it’s 7:29 already. I know it’s late but what else can I do? I mean when I have to wait for coffee to take effect and music to hit the spot. I am listening to Minoire by Claude Debussy on a YouTube” Playlist for Quiet Morning” and it is quiet the morning.

Okay, let's start analyzing my routine. I mean why can’t I be productive during nighttime. It’s just passed by and I am left with nothing accomplished. Take yesterday for example. I spent a lot of my time doing, I don’t know what but it was 11: something already and I was like where did all the time go. Actually, I played chess until 10:30 maybe? And watched chess tactics for another 20 minutes. O,h that’s where all the time went. After searching the Jathapol temple picture, it was 12 and I had to sleep in order to wake up early. 

And here I am, waking up exactly at 6:20 because I slept at 12:20 making it 6 hours of sleep. I had this dream. I don’t remember most of it except one crucial moment and I am going to talk about that one. We had a party at a resort. It was a nice resort within a sparse jungle. I distinctly remember the swimming pool because I nearly drowned there. But I had experience drowning, at least what not to do when you are going underwater. You must not panic if you are out of breath. Instead, just move upward as fast as you can. That’s all the knowledge I have in not drowning.

 I took a straight dive into the swimming pool and realized it was way deep, and I was way under. I then touched the ground and pushed myself to the surface, but it was way up. I began to panic, but I remembered my one rule and started paddling up. When I reached the surface, there was dust all over the area because this guy was sweeping the floor like it was his last day. Dust all over the area and also on the swimming pool.

Then I went to book a room. The room price was on the menu and it was too much to handle. Even the normal room was 25000 and above. I asked the manager or some person why it was so expensive. He just shrugged and advised me to book a room for 2500. He showed me a room of that price and It was not that bad at all. There was this big curtain wall and a huge window with a view of a pool and jungle. There was this normal-size cozy bed with a sofa beside it. It was all beige. 

And then I went out to the pool area where people were swimming and chilling in the bar area. Basically, people were chilling everywhere. It was maybe midday, I don’t know because the sun was not out of the clouds but it was bright. Maybe overcast weather. Then I met my friends and we talked about something. I remember Sunil being there and horsing around. Maybe it was our school friend's wedding party in a tropical place and invited us to join. I don’t know but if there’s Sunil then maybe it was our school friend. 

But I saw Sanju and Amita chilling in a corner, or they came and talked to me? I just remember the scene where we three were sitting in a triangle position with these small sofa cubes. Sanju and Amita were sitting close to each other while I had a gap facing them. I don't know what we talked about but it was just a casual talk and nothing else. I am going way too detailed and vague at the same time I know, but everything will make sense at the end. 

When the party was over, I didn't know what the party was about. Can I consider it as a party where nothing happened and we just chilled for a day and night? I don’t know. Anyways, everybody started leaving the resort and so did I. But I was told to wait along with Amita. Yes, me and Amita. And we waited until everybody was gone. Then the bill came and I saw this huge ass number. It was freaking 25000 for the room. Amita also had a bill of 25000 and we were both shocked and angry. 

We went to the counter and started explaining that there might have been some mistake. I particularly didn’t book the 25000 room. It was the same guy, maybe, who suggested 2500 rooms. Amita was standing there beside me and she was also suggesting her own thing. I don’t know her story so I cannot comply. However, in my case, I distinctly remember I had asked this guy that the price was way too expensive and I could not afford 25000 rooms so he showed me 2500 rooms. 

We discussed this for a while. Then, it was Amita’s turn to speak. While she explained her version, I drank tropical coconut juice straight out of the coconut. I felt like smashing that coconut to his head to stop him from scamming us. 

And then I looked straight into the guy’s eyes who was sitting on a counter and said. “Look, I have 2500 in my bank account. I am broke as fuck. What makes you think a guy with 2500 in his bank account will rent a room with 25000. I can't give you that much money because I don’t have that much.” 

And the guy said, Well, I will let you go if you make a promotional video of my resort and give a good rating on Google. 

Okay. I said and we left that place without even paying 2500. Me and Amita were like, what the hell just happened? I sure will give this place a good rating, including this incident we had. 

And then there I was, doing something again at that same resort. Probably building something. Maybe a promotional video? I don’t know because I woke up to the sound of an alarm. 

And that was my dream. It was totally random but cohesive whether every scene connected or not? I don’t know? Why did I see Sanju and Amita? Why did I see this pool, swim under, and emerge to the surface? The room and everything else.  I know there were four other guys with Sunil but I forgot them and remembered only Sunil because he did something mischievous and everybody was just going with the flow, like having fun adventures at a tropical resort. Just like the movie Grown Ups. However, I was not part of their team because I was chatting with Sanju and Amita. Why? I have no freaking idea. 

It’s Tuesday already and I have completed only the 45 minutes of my 10-hour-long Unity course. I should have at least completed the 4 hours already but no. This never goes as you wanted but you can still try to push it. Yesterday, I spent around 4 hours learning Unity but with all that pausing, installing, reinstalling, and doing some version updates, I finally finished 45 minutes. I have a long way to go and it’s Tuesday already. Damn! I should probably get back to Unity now. But I want to write some more. It will only take ten minutes. Okay, let's see what can I write in 10 minutes. And your time starts now. 

Hehehe Just kidding. I will spend as much time as I want because I am the master of my own soul and I am the captain of my own ship so I will sail away in whatever direction my heart leads me to. No don’t listen to your heart, they are irrational, wild, and are slaves to temptation, greed, lust, and all those delicious feelings. 

Yes, even Lord Krishna said. Your heart will run away from problems and seek pleasures. Your job is to catch it and put it in its place. It’s restless and will run away again. You should catch it and make it do an unwanted task which is essential nevertheless. Your heart doesn't want to do the rigorous task but your mind knows it for a better future so always listen to your mind. 

I mean listen to both and if those two are in disagreement then you should probably not do whatever you are trying to do. I both agree and you do it, but you fail miserably or you think that was the worst Idea ever or you think you fucked up, then your mind is as dumb as your heart. 

You should train your mind to see future problems, what do we call that? 

Yeah! I am interested in this particular problem-solving tactic. Like the chess game where you can see four or five steps ahead. You know you can put it in life to see if it works or not. With ideas comes process and with process comes problems. But most people don’t realise the problems until it’s right there causing it in real time. What do we call a person who cannot have vision problems beforehand? Like 2 and 2 makes 4 but until they add it, they won't know? That’s the simplest version of foresight I can give. The most complex can be the social media algorithm quantum mechanics or Higgs boson. What do we call this particular form of thinking? Future awareness? I don’t know and I don’t want to search the internet because I know I will get stuck in the rabbit hole of the internet once I get searching. I think this is also a kind of Future awareness. 

Everybody at some point must have this sudden hit like, I was supposed to be doing something here on my phone, but instead, I am scrolling through Insta reels or watching videos on YouTube. Like hypnotism. It’s not just distraction anymore but more than that, it’s hypnosis and I don’t know how people in the future will cope with it. When screens and social media become unavoidable and essential to life. Damn! The future is a scary place if you think about it that way but more and more people are slowly turning into phone zombies. And people on the other side, the creators are giving them Hopium, a little surge of dopamine hit every other second. Like is there any way to break the cycle and utilize this powerful so-called internet in a good way? 

I know that so many things have become possible and so many good deeds are done with the power of the internet and I would like to expand more on that topic rather than mindless media consumption. But the difference between good and bad content is saturated to the point that it’s bewildering. Still, we see many people online spreading knowledge and making an impact and it feels great to know that we have access to all the information in the palm of our hand. Thanks to whoever made the internet possible. It’s 9:08 now. Why does this time keep moving even if I keep writing? I mean you could move slowly, But no. You have to move fast. Guess what. I can move fast too. Wanna race? A;ldfkjdf;lkadjkjfihjgfnbbhjej. It’s not my hand that’s slow but my brain. Yes, I can write whatever I want to and talk about things for an hour to the end but what’s the use of it if it’s not meaningful. Not everything has to have meaning? Sometimes you just do it because it's fun or it’s in the moment. Just Like what I am doing right now. I am typing because it’s fun. Oh how do I tell you what goes on my mind when I type but this is what I say when I think of my mind. The most talkative I get during the time is when I am cleaning in the kitchen. Without listening to the music of course. And by talkative, I don’t mean verbally but in my mind, Just like what I am doing right now. The thing that is slowing me down I realized is this backspace button. Okay, let’s see if I can write any proper sentence without pressing the Backspace button. Let’s see.. And here we go. 

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I have removed the backspace button from my keyboard so I dont accidentally press it. Hehehehe Onh my god . Hewhehehe its’ ti its lot harder than I thought  . I cant press the backspace button and My brain is t saying “” where the fuck is my back space bt button ? and m it keeps wanting or craving for backspace button. Hehehe It’s like pulling prance prank to my on my own pr bv brain  hehehesho shit man! H   what was I saying. Ah yeah its’ a good challenge to have backspace button remove. My intention of removing backspace button was to speed up my wrt writin bg  writing but it s getting way worse when i the backspace be   butto n is no logner ther.e . AH u fuck.  Hahehee ha what the fuck am I writng . It . does it get any s faster than then the than having backspace button. My answer is ik kind of what the fuck. It’s s probably seems wa w awakard to not remove any mistake I make Ma .. I feel like ta that person suc lkjk person having that syndrome who talk random shit in the middle of nowhere wh… what do we call that person with some syndrome . s= trout syntrom  or something . and on th on top of that . I ha  .. My writing is like t tht that another syndrom where you jitter .. you repeated words repeat words several time before completing sentence .. whe what syndrom is that. Nevertheless , its fun to do some new ne things with typing also . I And it’s 922 9:22 I should go and lean Unit bo Unity now.

I searched and it’s called stuttering, Palilalia and Tourette syndrome or Tics. They are different in their own terms. Btw you have noticed that I have placed the Backspace button back into its place. Get it? Backspace.