Past Self To Future Me

  5/22/2025 7:39 AM My brush pen got into an accident. Someone ran over my brush pen, probably with his high-end luxurious car. What am I saying? It’s 7:46 already, and I have so much to write. I have to rewire my brain to force myself to succeed. I mean, if I cannot imagine getting successful, then I would never be there. The first part of success is to believe in it. There was a reel that said to think about the best possible outcome and make a script out of it. For example, this end of the year, December 1, 2025, I am going to the party of my friends in my luxury vehicle, wearing a tuxedo. And you have to write that in detail. Vusialize that shit and write that like a novel. Next thing is that you need to record the audio format of your future that you have thoroughly visualized. After recording, listen to that audio while you go to bed every night.  This is like predicting the future and believing that things will happen according to your goal. That’s crazy, but what if it...

  It’s finally happening. I am officially broke now. Got no money in my bank. It’s survival time now. The faith has been written already, and now I am to do a job. I should work on my designs and shit. Yes. I have no money to go anywhere else. And now I have to laser focus on developing my design skills.  You must try things that may not work. Okay, I did that, and it’s not working. I believe doing work is an investment in life. At some point in your life, things will turn up, but not now. I thought I could read in a place alone with my iPad, but that’s not the case. I couldn’t. I know I could, but I have not tried reading on my iPad in public spaces. Most of the time, I usually.  I am serious. At the point where everything seems expensive because I’ve got no money to buy anything. Everything is expensive when you’ve got no money to buy. I’ve still got a lot of shopping to do, but no money, no honey. My quest to prove that money is not everything has made me broke as fuck...

  5/11/2025 8:51 AM It’s 8:51 already, man. Shitt. Anyways, I need to understand the situations. I mean the art of playing chess fast. No, there are other things to worry about. I need to set my priorities straight. First and foremost. Need to earn enough money to print my photos. Ah, oh yes. I almost forgot. Oh, I need to print my shit. I mean to say my photos. Why not print pictures instead of putting them in your social media posts? If you can bring your photos to reality by physically touching them and feeling the texture, then why not?  So, this ends now. Today. Ahh shit. I just took a break from writing and messaged her shit tons of nonsense. I need to keep my composure, or else this emotion will take over me. Think straight, think logical, and think for the future. Don’t get attached to everything and anything. We’ve got limited time on our hands, so use it wisely.  Ach! Where was I? Oh, okay, it’s 9:11 and I have to complete by 9:30. So here’s what I am gonna do. ...

  05/10/2025 10:27 AM To grow, you need to feel low. One thing! I am no more excited about anything, and that’s what part of growing up means, I guess. I was in 2016 or something when loneliness caught hold of me. Before that, I was just enjoying stuff like a child, without worrying about anything but myself and the present moment. When one or two of my friends left the country for work or study abroad, I was left with this missing them, but it was okay. I just felt something's missing. I used to be alone, not lonely, but that was my first little touch of isolation. I realised late that year, the feeling was lingering, and it never left me. I overlooked and kept on living my life with the fear, and it grew unmanageable. I could no longer overlook it anymore. I used to be happy and lucky, always smiling despite problems. The thing with me was, I could not stay sad or serious for a long period. I always used to be happy, nevertheless. I even disliked that toothy grin that made my fa...

  5/9/2025 07/07 AM Make peace with your past. Your past version is not you anymore. Look forward to the future and make haste, or else you will be left behind. Good things come to people who wait, and great things come to people who make haste. WHat? I have no idea. Loneliness compels people to the depths of desperation, and only at the bottom do they realise the addiction of pulling in, and the only way out is to remove this addiction and live with loneliness. Make peace with your past.  This is what I say, but the nostalgia hits like a crashing wave, and you are rushed to the past and all its lost glory. Na man, I need to look forward to my future. There are so many things undone, like building a guitar cover out of cardboard boxes, completing so many novels to understand people, place, and anthe d power the novel holds within. Reading novels is like reliving multiple lives, and I love to be a criminal in one and a child in another. So many stories, and they all cater towar...

  05/07/2025 9:23 AM  What am I supposed to do now? I think I bought that keyboard for no apparent reason, but I use it. I mean, I can use this to,o but. A, hh I have no idea what the hell I am doing. I love how it autocorrects my words. I just can’t help but listen to Zelda music. Now I am switching to Ophelia Wilde. What the hell is going on with me? These past few days, I have not been feeling quite myself. I don’t know why, but something is changing within m,e and I don’t know what. I think I should stop masturbating. Hehehe. I feel funny even thinking of that, but seriously. He. When will I grow up, m?n. I still act immature when the topic of sex is presented. I am far older than an adult. I must learn the ways of adulting. I should be drawing right now, but instead, I am writing things that I have no Idea about. I think I should continue writing like this. Damn! This feels good. I mean the keyboard is noisy, but it’s mechanical and produces satisfactory results on pressi...

  05/06/2025 8:27 AM I am right and about to commit a cardinal sin. Masturbation. Fuck. So my mind is going all crazy because I haven’t gotten used to typing. I think it’s not about typing on this keyboard, but. I don’t know anything. So what was it that I was going ot tupwaadsfosadfas;dkfjasd;lfjasd;lkfjsad;lkfjsda Why is it not working like it used to be? I can assure you of the utmost faculty of our business with 24-hour services anytime and anywhere. Platinum American Express. Ha those who... na why do I have to say anything about platinum cards. It's.. no What the fuck is going on. Why are people killing each other? My mind is going blank, and nothing excites me except ladies. I am, after all, a man of tradition. Damn! This coffee is too bitter, like a medicine. But it is medicine after all. So why was I here? I think I need to continue my sentences. I mean, I should continue my storyWheree was I? I mean, I should keep my life in check. Damn! I told myself to add a design cate...

  5/05/2025 8:4 AM  The novel is almost complete—only a few pages left. I can’t believe I was halfway there the day before, and now it’s almost complete. The first half is not so interesting when it introduces people at random, and it gets really confusing when one person has three names—actually, it’s two, but.  What the hell is going on? I’ve got everything I desire except the Apple Pencil Pro and the iPhone 14 Pro Max. You need to earn it, bro. You can’t just demand land and wish to be fulfilled. Time like this.  To live life, you need problems. If you get what you want the minute you want it, what’s the point of living? That’s true as fuck. But why this quote right now in the middle of nowhere? It’s live, bro, and you can put it anywhere. So you know what to do now. But But But!! There are so many questions that arise. Damn! Problems. I can expand that quote into infinity and still find more ideas to talk about. Because Life, of course.  So where was I? Ahh,...