4/17/2025

-

 

4/17/2025 7:51 AM 

Why am I writing all this shit. It’s 17 april already and I have lost 17 days worth of shit. I have no idea what has gotten into me. I used to believe in faith and shit and now, it’s just, not working at all. I used to think that believing is to achieve this kind of philosophy, but now, I don’t even know what the hell I should be doing. Should I be working on drawing, animation, or earning money? One thing I know is that getting things won't make people satisfied or happy. Achieving your goal with that thing is what truly makes people happy. Like you know, when you think, when I will get this or have this, I will make this or be this. And now you have the thing you require or you’re at the place you desire, you just can’t seem to make it work like you always thought it of. It is always easier said than done. Life will always give you obstacles and hurdles, like the cake on the top of the stairs. Somehow, with much difficulty, you reach the top and get the cake, but the irony is, you can't eat it. You must climb another unforeseen stairs in order to eat that cake. You have the cake in your hand but it's just an object and you can do nothing with it, unless you climb another long and arduous stairs and lets say, you make it at the top, you will never know that you can eat the cake or not because nobody is giving you clear instructions on what to do and what you will get at the top of the stairs. Because it's so tall and far away that you can’t even see the top. All you can do is hope that something is interesting or something worth climbing all those stairs. The top might be empty or full of answers, you never know. All you can do is climb.  


I knew it, times like these will come in my life. If there’s an absolute high, then there is also an absolute low. I had little back then, and I was happy. Now I’ve got a little more, I am obliged to make something out of little. I am stuck somewhere between earning money and spending money. What? All I can say is my life is not going the way I wanted, and that's okay. Nobody says it was easy. No one ever says it would be this hard. I am going back to the start. 

You know about the game I always wished to make? I got stuck in chapter one. CHAPTER ONE! The beginning. Damn! I knew it would be difficult, but I didn’t know that I would be leaving so soon. Fuck! Anyway, I tried all the tricks, but it just won’t work, whereas the one teaching me, his code works just fine. What am I to do in a time like this? I should go back to the very start. Okay okay. I will first set my life on track. NO! NO EXCUSES.  I have all the, if not, most of the things, to work on, to make it work. I require discipline and a list of things to complete within a certain time. Complete certain tasks and check off objectives. Once I keep track of things I should do then I can do things I want. I mean. Be Brave.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

5/22/2025 7:39 AM

-
  5/22/2025 7:39 AM My brush pen got into an accident. Someone ran over my brush pen, probably with his high-end luxurious car. What am I saying? It’s 7:46 already, and I have so much to write. I have to rewire my brain to force myself to succeed. I mean, if I cannot imagine getting successful, then I would never be there. The first part of success is to believe in it. There was a reel that said to think about the best possible outcome and make a script out of it. For example, this end of the year, December 1, 2025, I am going to the party of my friends in my luxury vehicle, wearing a tuxedo. And you have to write that in detail. Vusialize that shit and write that like a novel. Next thing is that you need to record the audio format of your future that you have thoroughly visualized. After recording, listen to that audio while you go to bed every night.  This is like predicting the future and believing that things will happen according to your goal. That’s crazy, but what if it...
Read more

5/11/2025

-
  5/11/2025 8:51 AM It’s 8:51 already, man. Shitt. Anyways, I need to understand the situations. I mean the art of playing chess fast. No, there are other things to worry about. I need to set my priorities straight. First and foremost. Need to earn enough money to print my photos. Ah, oh yes. I almost forgot. Oh, I need to print my shit. I mean to say my photos. Why not print pictures instead of putting them in your social media posts? If you can bring your photos to reality by physically touching them and feeling the texture, then why not?  So, this ends now. Today. Ahh shit. I just took a break from writing and messaged her shit tons of nonsense. I need to keep my composure, or else this emotion will take over me. Think straight, think logical, and think for the future. Don’t get attached to everything and anything. We’ve got limited time on our hands, so use it wisely.  Ach! Where was I? Oh, okay, it’s 9:11 and I have to complete by 9:30. So here’s what I am gonna do. ...
Read more

3/23/2025

-
  3/23/2025 7:25 AM I want a MUJI fountain pen. But there are alternatives like, let’s see. Nop! I want a MUJI fountain pen and that's final. Heehhhh anyway, enough searching for the best and start typing. I am here to do some typing and nothing else. Yes, wherever I was, I wish my hands were fast enough to catch my thoughts. You know what, you don’t even have to type at all, you can make it voice-activated and AI will type your words into pages. Yes, Maybe that's one thing I can do, I mean I can take advantage of the technology. But it’s good to type. I dont know, I have never done that. There’s a guy on the internet and now I don’t know his name. Shit! I mentioned him somewhere in the past pages and now forgotten his name. Basically, he gives good advice and I also like his disposition. All I am saying is I should change my thought process of typing shit on pages and rather use something efficient. But I think I am leaving authenticity or what we call, originality in the name...
Read more